Anyone who has ever dated, is dating, or is about to enter the dating game has definitely noticed that when it comes to being physically attractive, not all couples are with their match. You often see a really good looking guy or a really good looking girl with a not-so good looking partner. Psychologists say that it’s because the partner that isn’t as good looking brings something else to the table, and they are absolutely correct. The good looking person sees something in them that they don’t see in other people.

What is it they see? Often, an aspect of their partner’s personality really appeals to them. This aspect is often projected in the image the person presents. Basically, they are presenting an attractive image, one that you might not see at first glance, but one that is definitely present.

When it comes to dating, the way you present yourself can be more important than what you look like. A large part of dating and dating success hinges on how you present yourself. If you’ve been reading dating advice columns, there’s no doubt you’ve heard the basics by now: pay attention to your clothes, be hygienic, stay well groomed, make sure you smell nice, etc., and while the physical aspect of your image is important (after all, no one wants to date someone who looks like a goon), what is more important is what you project. What’s the point of looking great if you can’t show that you are great.

An attractive person often presents a very positive attitude. They have a great sense of humor, they are generally cheerful people who are quick to smile and are open to laughing at jokes. They also look like the type of person you can approach, trust, and tell secrets to. Their undesirable behavior, such as being clumsy, is seen as cute simply because they have such a great attitude towards their little mishaps. They are the people that you often stop and think to yourself: “She’s not particularly good looking, but there’s something about her…” You must admit, what’s been presented is a very attractive image.

How does this help you? Well, think about what image you are presenting. Is it an attractive image? Sometimes we’re so focused on looking good and saying the right things, that we’re too nervous to let that winning personality shine through. We’re too nervous to let people see that something else that we can bring to the table.

So, next time, though you should definitely focus on looking good, try thinking about how other people see you and what you are projecting. Chances are, you will feel so confident knowing that there is something about you no one else has, and that someone will definitely love!

“Dee” came to see me for fear of public speaking. She has a job involving at least one presentation a week, and the situation was getting serious. Dee had been to see a hypnotherapist for 8 sessions before she came to see me, all to no avail. She had discovered EFT recently, when her work had sent her to a psychotherapist who helped her grieve for her lost son. The psychotherapist had shown her EFT to help her go to sleep at night, and she was very impressed with it.

Usually hypnotherapy has some rather than no effect, which to me meant possibly complex root causes and a greater than usual amount of psychological reversal. With this in mind, I asked Dee to give me commitment for six sessions, so that I can work with her on core issues and do detective work.

When Dee arrived, I took some background history and showed her how I use EFT. We used the Karate Chop for the Setup, and then the TOP OF HEAD, the Shortcut (EB to UA) and the WRIST for the Sequence.

In the beginning of the first session, as I was taking the history, Dee told me of several events that I felt we could work on. One of them was a presentation with two people at a client’s that Dee was training the day before. We called this something like “Yesterday’s Presentation”.

For SUDS, I asked Dee to imagine she was looking at a TV screen and seeing “Yesterday’s Presentation”. She rated it at a 6 out of ten. Then we started tapping simply:

“Even though I have this ‘Yesterday’s Presentation’ feeling, …”

Dee also said her heart was saying “danger”, so I did a reframe while we tapped on all the points as we went along, and it went something like this:

“Even though my heart is saying ‘danger’, I accept my heart. Maybe my heart is trying to protect me from perceived danger. Maybe my heart doesn’t know that I’m in a presentation rather than being chased by a lion. I choose to say ‘Thank you’ to my heart for trying to protect me. At least now I know my heart works properly, in case I need to run or to fight for my life. My heart doesn’t know that I’m only in a meeting. And that’s OK.”

The SUDS went down to 4 and then to an indeterminate “threatened” feeling, so we tapped on:

“Even though I feel threatened, …”

Then the SUDS went down to 3. By now, every single round had produced a huge release from Dee in terms of large sighs, visible bodily relaxation, what I call an “EFT grin” (every practitioner out there will know what I mean), tiredness, and my own yawning (I yawn when my clients release). Clearly we were releasing a lot of stuff each time, which meant that there was an awful lot in there to be released.

At this point, Dee explained that she knew she was good enough for the presentation but also felt she was not good enough. So I had her tap on an odd number of points very quickly “I’m good enough” alternately with “I’m not good enough” to shake the “not good enough” belief and get to the core of it. I use an odd number so that the point which got the “I’m not good enough” in the first round would get the “I’m good enough” on the second round, and so on, which I find kind of short-circuits the limiting belief out of the client. We started with the Setup of:

“Even though part of me thinks I’m good enough, and part of me thinks I’m not good enough, I accept both parts of me anyway.”

Then we tapped:

TOP OF HEAD: “I’m good enough”
EB: “I’m not good enough”
SE: “I’m good enough”
UE: “I’m not good enough”
UN and CH together: “I’m good enough”
CB: “I’m not good enough”
UA: “I’m good enough”

TOP OF HEAD: “I’m not good enough”
EB: “I’m good enough”
SE: “I’m not good enough”…

… And so on, until we both felt happily confused, and I said “who cares?” and Dee laughed, and then we were both laughing away like crazy!

“Yesterday’s Presentation” went down to a 2. I asked Dee for specific examples of times when she had felt not good enough in her life, such as in childhood, perhaps at school. She replied that throughout her primary and secondary school days she had always wanted to please and be “as best as the best one”, getting A grades. Her sister was in the top 10 at primary and high school, and she could never get the level of achievement her sister was consistently making.

The sister had always been (in Dee’s opinion) slimmer, smaller, more intelligent, and lighter colored, all qualities perceived by Dee to be superior qualities. I asked for a specific incident that we could tap on which encapsulated this. Dee came up with a specific word, one which it is illegal for me to say in South Africa, because it is derogatory for a dark-skinned person. The family used to joke by calling Dee this word. We tapped all over this, with SUDS starting at a “Big Hurt” and going down to 8, 6, 2, then “It’s Just a Word”, then a half. Dee wanted to move on. She looked totally relaxed and tired by now. She was fed up with working on that word. I respected her wishes and checked that she wanted to carry on with something else, and she said yes.

We went back to the “Yesterday’s Presentation”, which by now had gone up to a 3, probably with the aspects from what we had just worked on. So we carried on with it:

“Even though I still have this remaining “Yesterday’s Presentation” feeling, …”

It went to a 1 then a half. Then I asked Dee to close her eyes and vividly imagine the event, where she sat, what she said, how she felt, in order to test for other aspects. The SUDS went up to 7. a further round brought this down to 3.5 and Dee said it felt more like “it’s history”. So we tapped starting with a Setup like:

“Even though I have this remaining ‘Yesterday’s Meeting’ feeling, it’s now history. If others don’t like my presentation, that’s too bad, I’m just giving them training, they don’t have to like it. They are not judging me personally if they don’t like the training, they don’t even know me. I accept myself anyway, I love myself anyway, no matter what.”

The SUDS went down to 2 after that round, after which Dee was totally tapped out for this session. We concluded there and made another appointment in two days.

When I next saw Dee, she said that she had slept really well the night of our session. She was surprised how tired she had been after our tapping. I explained with my favorite analogy which goes something like this…

Imagine that you are standing there, in the middle of the room, holding a big box. If you let go go of this box, something terrible is going to happen, a world disaster, World War Three, or something like that. So you have to hold this box and must not let it go. And it’s amazing how long we can go without food, water, or even sleep. And you know, if we’re tired enough we can even sleep standing up. So for days on end, you stand there holding up this box, you can’t let go, just standing there. Now imagine how you would feel if after a few days, someone comes along and relieves you of the responsibility of holding the box… Phew… Now, you can let go… You’d probably just lie down and go to sleep… Holding onto negative emotions takes a lot of energy out of us, so when we finally let go… We just want to lie down and go to sleep.

Dee was nodding in agreement. I repeated this analogy in one way or another elsewhere in our sessions, as I find it helps, especially when the client feels under pressure to be perfect. Tiredness is not seen as a good quality for the mythical perfect person.

We started the tapping in this session on core issues. I asked Dee for a specific incident that encapsulated the pressure of having to be the best of the best at primary and high school. She said she found it hard to find one specific incident but gave me the weekly piano lessons as a particularly stressful occurrence. Yet again, Dee’s sister excelled in piano whilst Dee said she struggled, playing with one finger and feeling stupid. She also said that she and her sister played in church, so I knew straight away that no way could she have played in church if she was at one-finger proficiency. I asked Dee for “Piano Lessons” SUDS. This was a 9 or 8. We started something like this:

“Even though I have this ‘Piano Lessons’ feeling, …”

After a few rounds, I reframed using a Setup like:

“Even though I could only play with one finger, I remember that I played piano in church, so surely by then I was playing with more than one finger, it’s just that I don’t see it that way [big nods and smiles from Dee affirming that she was indeed more proficient than she had thought]. I deeply love and accept myself, just as I am. I’m willing to consider that I was good enough to play in church. The church thought I was good enough. I deeply love and accept myself, just as I am.”

The piano lessons went down to about a zero. Dee had released so much by then. She got up and stretched at various points in the session, as she relaxed more and more.

Next, we went back to the “Yesterday’s Presentation”, which now became “Last Wednesday’s Presentation”. Since we had already done quite a bit of work on it, I asked Dee to close her eyes and imagine the event. She reported a SUDS of 6. I asked her to open her eyes and tell me where she felt it in her body. She said it was a breathing thing and a feeling in the chest. So we tapped something like:

“Even though I have this breathing and chest feeling about ‘Last Wednesday’s Presentation’, …”

After a couple of rounds, I asked Dee to close her eyes and give me SUDS again. It was now 4, and a feeling in the heart. We tapped a round starting with:

“Even though I have ‘Last Wednesday’s Presentation’ in my heart, …”

Dee then rated the event as a 3.5 and a threatened feeling, so we tapped:

“Even though I feel threatened, ..”

This went down to a 3, and we kept tapping till it became a 2. At this point, I tapped for acceptance and Dee allowing others to accept her, mistakenly thinking the threatened feeling was a fear of rejection. The SUDS stayed at 2. So I asked Dee what emotion was behind this, and she said “fear”. So I asked her for a specific incident that represents this fear. At first she said it felt like maybe when she was 10 or maybe 5 years old, something bad, but she couldn’t remember it, it was really bad. I explained that she doesn’t have to tell me what it is, we can call it “X” or “Y”. Dee then immediately came up with incident “X”, a short clip of film of something that happened in her Matric year (final year at school). It did not happen to her personally, but she was there. The SUDS were 10. So we tapped for:

“Even though I have this X feeling, …”

We kept tapping, as the SUDS went down to a 9.5, 7, 5, then 4. At 4, Dee suddenly abreacted and said “I’m having a heart attack”. I was ready to call an ambulance, and using my training in First Aid, I decided that this is more likely a purely emotional reaction. Dee was gripped with fear and let me tap on her. I tapped on the TOP OF HEAD and also on either side of the spine on her back, as these extra points were easy for me to reach and allowed her the freedom to tap on herself if and when she was ready later. Dee felt better and better as we tapped things like:

“Even though I think I’m going to die, ..”

Incident X was fading into nothingness, and Dee said that she just wanted to put it in her past. So we tapped using a Setup like:

“Even though I have this incident X feeling, I send peace to the situation. I choose to put it behind me now. I choose to peacefully move on. I allow peace.”

The Reminder was something like:

“I allow peace”

Dee was happily very relaxed after this. So we went back to the “Last Wednesday’s Presentation”. The SUDS had gone up to 4, indicating again new aspects. We carried on tapping for “Last Wednesday’s Presentation” as it went to a 3, then a 1, and stayed at a 1. At this point, Dee said that it was a 1 (rather than zero) because she was worried about a future presentation just like this one. The new presentation was due in a few days.

I asked for SUDS for the new presentation, and Dee said she could not access the feeling, because she was used to blocking out thoughts of meetings until the meeting itself. She was overwhelmed and said:

“I know I’m going to freak out again”.

I asked Dee to rate how true this statement was, and it was a 10. She said she was sure she would have a shivery voice and nervousness. So we tapped things like:

“Even though I know I’m going to freak out again, …”
“Even though I’m afraid I’ll have a shivery voice and nervousness, …”
“Even though I don’t know who I will be if I don’t freak out at the presentation, …”
“Even though I don’t know how I will cope, ..”
“Even though I’m so used to freaking out at presentations, it’s part of my identity, …” [Big nods and smiles from Dee]
“Even though I don’t know what will happen to me at the presentation, …”

This brought the SUDS down to 9, 7, then 6. By then, we were running out of time and Dee was tired. So we tapped something like:

“Even though I know I’m going to freak out at the presentation, I can freak out calmly”

The SUDS went down to 5, and Dee was totally tapped out, so we concluded there. She said that she felt very comfortable with the idea of freaking out calmly and wants to do that at the meeting. So together, we arrived at a homework to tap several times a day as a Setup and a Reminder without SUDS:

“I can be calmly nervous, and that’s OK.”

When I saw Dee again afterward, she had carried out this meeting with ease. She is now quite happy to do small presentations. Our work continues, but that’s a whole other story. Dee is very happy with her progress so far and is singing the praises of EFT. She wants more people to know that when you have fear of public speaking, there are many others like you, something she did not know at first, and that you can release the roots of this very common fear.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to know the future? Can you imagine the advantage that you would have if you had a better glimpse into future events? Well, perhaps this is why futurists are so gainfully employed. But how do they do it?

First, a good futurist thinker must consider recent history and the present period, he must know it like no other. When Sun Tzu said “know thy self and know thy enemy” that was indeed a wise comment. For futurism strategies to work one must “know the present and know their sector.”

So, considering this let’s discuss the news on February 17, 2009 as an example and see if we can see trends here:

• Stanford Financial; Houston – New Fraud Case on High Yielding CDs
• Dow down 250 points at 9:00 AM PST; Closed Down 300 points
• Obama to sign Stimulus in Denver today
• Cisco Launches Video Conferencing via Cell Phone Devices
• Cirrus Satellite Radio gets bailed out Financing & John Malone to prevent BK
• Rumor: Direct TV setting up Long-term play to own Cirrus
• Mini-Cooper Auto Makers laying off 1/3 workforce – not immune to slow down
• Return to Financial Viability plan; Auto Maker Deadline; Rumors ask for more & BK
• Russia gives helicopters to Bolivia; supposedly to fight Drug War?
• Bolivia and Peru at odds, tension mounts
• Japanese Finance Minister Resigns
• Madoff Doll to Smash made by FL Entrepreneur: Cost $99

Now then, think deeply and consider how these trends work together and what they might mean for the future. For instance, fraud will mean more regulation in the financial sector. What will more regulation mean?

Go ahead and study all these events and ask, what do they mean. Write down the major events for the next month, scan them, you’ll spot the same trends that the top futurists do. Think on this.

“Best friend is like a four leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have.” – Sarah Jessica Parker, Sex In The City.

Do you want to show your appreciation of your best friend and don’t know how? Every day we greeted and bless each other with good luck, why not give it instead? Luck is the illusive factor in life. We need it for everything in life. The 4 leaf clover is the most well recognized lucky symbol of North American. According to varies sources, there is one in every 10.000. The 4 leaf one is a mutation of the common 3 leaved clover (shamrock). Exactly how rare it is? No one really knows. It all depend on how lucky you are. Historically, good fortune comes to those who finds it. Each leaf represents something: the first is for hope, the second is for faith, the third is for love, and the fourth is for luck. There is no known fact why some clover ended up with four while most of them remain to be three. It could be a mutation, a freak of nature or just “luck”. It is also thought that the 4 leaf will bring you fame, health, wealth and a faithful relationship. Consider yourself very lucky if you ever find one. Just as special as your friendship.

Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure. – Jewish Saying

Do you want to share something special with your best friend? Let them know how important and unique they are. Let them know how you appreciate and treasure this friendship and that they are the “4 leaf clover” in your life. A 4 leaf clover makes an excellent good luck present. It says so much with so little. It’s a fun, inexpensive and very memorable gift to receive. It also thought that if you find a lucky clover, and give it away. Your luck will double. Now that is best friends!

Transitions tend to be a time when we are very emotional. Part of the problem, then, is that we’re not staying present if we’re stuck in our emotional roller coaster. I hesitate to use the phrase “staying present” because it is so overused and people tend to glaze over when they hear that. But, it is so important.

In this moment you are creating your future. If you are not present, you are either stuck in the past or are worried about the future. If you’re doing either one or both of these things, then you are not in the present moment. Where are you creating positive change for next? You’re not. You’re creating more of the same.

Have you ever heard the phrase that worrying is like praying for what you don’t want? It’s true!

Staying present not only makes life more enjoyable, but when you are worrying about the future, you are making an “assumption”. You have no idea what the future is going to bring. While it may be understandable, we still we spend a lot of time worrying about it.

Use this exercise to see where you are spending your mental and emotional time. Ask yourself, “who am I inviting to my T.E.A. party?” Meaning, we walk around all the time with these experts in our head – and these experts are us! We tell ourselves the same thing over and over again, and we think it is the truth, because we “hear” it constantly.

The T.E.A. acronym stands for:

your Thoughts create your Emotions which dictate your Actions.

The most famous example of this is the fight or flight response. If you were an animal and threatened, your body would start kicking out a bunch of hormones like adrenaline and cortisol so that you could run quickly and preserve yourself. Obviously, this serves a purpose. But, when you are in a constant state of fear or anxiety, you forget that this natural response was meant for preserving your life, and ideally, not how you should be living constantly. You have to remind yourself that you are not, in fact, threatened. It is not a live or die experience, but you act like it is.

We will act based on how we are feeling. So start paying attention to your thoughts and check in with how real the assumption you are making really is.

One last thing to remember. You can also run into the inner critic, another “expert” who lives in your head and tells you why you are not good enough or not entitled to have the life you desire. This gal is a liar… so make sure you keep on top of her! and don’t trust a word she says.

Cognitive dissonance is a powerful argument structure to use in persuading an audience. Cognitive dissonance occurs when you are presented with information that is inconsistent with your attitudes, values or beliefs. This causes an uncomfortable emotional feeling as you consider or hold two contradictory ideas. Cognitive dissonance theory states that people are motivated to reduce dissonance by changing or rationalizing their attitudes, beliefs or behaviors when presented with a facts or a situation that violates their current attitudes, beliefs or behaviors.

Dissonance in Argument Structure

Creating dissonance in a speech can be an effective way to persuade your audience to change their attitudes, beliefs and/or behaviors.

Illustrate Audience Pain -> Then Introduce Safety or Relief

To use cognitive dissonance in an argument, first introduce a problem or need that you know is probably in violation or opposition to an attitude, belief or value held by the audience. This creates cognitive dissonance in the minds of your audience. You do this to create discomfort within the person to get their attention and to get them motivated to change the uncomfortable internal situation.

You then introduce additional information, a solution or alternative to the dissonant information that restores cognitive balance or equilibrium for the audience. By doing this, you create a logical and emotional road for the audience to travel down towards the solution you introduce.

An example of constructive use of dissonance would be to introduce the audience to the concept of personal failure. Show them, through a vivid story, the reality that if they continue with their current limiting thoughts and behaviors and their justifications for personal inaction, that they could reach the end of their life having actualized but a fraction of their dreams and potential.

This should create dissonance in your audience. Most people hope to realize their dreams and to actualize to their greatest potential in life. If you share a vivid story viscerally highlighting the reality that most people never realize anywhere near their full potential, you will create dissonance in those audience members that have high expectations of themselves and their lives.

Now, you can introduce tools that teach the audience, personal empowerment, time management or any other activity that will allow them to take greater control over their lives and their results. By doing this, you will close the gap between the pain of dissonance they feel and their dream of where they would like to be.

You have used dissonance to serve the audience. If you merely “tell” the audience: ‘I have these tools that you can use” they are less likely to feel the motivation to act on their own behalf than they will be if you say “see, hear and feel this story of failure. This could be, and probably will be you, statistically speaking. Doesn’t this hurt? Well I have tools that will allow you to avoid this pain AND gain the immense pleasure of personal success.”

You have won. More importantly, the audience has been served and they win.

This is my 14th article of our series of 20 on closing the sale and Becoming an All-Star Salesperson. Today, we complete the Present portion of the sales call.

There are four parts to making a good presentation. One-introduce the problem or need; two-tell your approach to the solution; three-give your specific solution; and four-summarize what you say.

Today, we’ll focus on part four-the summary. In the previous three articles, we introduced the problem that you intend to solve. We pretended that you’re a financial adviser talking to someone who manages all of his own investments. “Last time we spoke, we mentioned that you are your own financial adviser. This takes a lot of time, it takes a lot of research and it takes a lot of expertise.”

Then we gave our overall approach to the problem that we intend to solve. “So the solution that we have to this problem is simply to hire a professional money manager to handle your investments. This saves you a lot of time. The research you need gets done more efficiently and effectively and you utilize professional expertise.”

Then we gave our specific solution. “Here’s why it is to your advantage to retain our money management consulting service to simplify and professionalize the investment management process. For an inclusive fee, our company will define your objectives, custom tailor an asset allocation plan for your risk tolerance, monitor and review performance, monitor and compare your investment manager against the alternative managers, provide a full time financial consultant to answer your questions and recommend the options. Of course, we’ll implement all of the transactions.”

You then finish up your presentation by summarizing what you said. “Remember, this all started because being your own financial adviser takes a lot of time, a lot of research and a lot of expertise. So hiring a professional money management consultant solves the problem and gets you better results by using our professional processes that I just described.”

Incidentally, this is a great time to pause, and write your own summary down.

What you’ve just done: you’ve learned to summarize your solution by repeating the problem, your general approach to solving that problem or need, and your specific answer. This reminds your prospect of the context of his problem and your solution. You can use this principle professionally or personally and you’ll get better results in all of your persuasion efforts.

If you’ve enjoyed this article about closing sales and would like to watch my entire 20-video series on closing sales and becoming an extraordinary sales person, please go to http://www.stanleyfidel.com/free for the entire free series. Goodbye and good selling.

Everyone is looking for the perfect Christmas gift for their friends and loved ones this Christmas, but it can be so difficult to know exactly what that is. A Christmas hamper is the ideal present for those hard-to-buy-for people that either have everything or are too picky and difficult to please, or for people on a budget and here are five reasons why:

Kill Two Birds with One Stone

Hampers come in a range of sizes, from containing a singular bottle of wine to enough food and drink to cater for a whole party of people. It is this flexibility and choice of size which makes them a perfect gift for a whole family.

As the giver, you can make a choice whether you want to give a large hamper with enough food and wine for the whole family, or a small hamper as a less expensive token of Christmas cheer. Either way, this saves time and effort shopping for a separate present for each individual in a family or couple.

Home Delivery

One of the main issues concerning Christmas gift shopping is the overcrowding in shopping centres, car parks and high streets throughout the nation. For many people, the idea of going Christmas shopping fills them with dread at the thought of having to elbow their way through the crowds to even get a look at what is on the store shelves.

Ordering Christmas hampers online takes all of the stresses out of shopping as you do not even need to leave your own home! All of the available products are listed in an ordered manner with photographs of their presentation, available to order at the touch of a button. They are also delivered to your/the recipients door, meaning that presents can be sorted without ever leaving the comfort of your own home.

Personalised Christmas Hampers

You may think that whilst a Christmas hamper may look like an impressive gift, it actually has little or no thought behind it in terms of matching it to the recipient or recipients’ wants and personalities. Hampers can be seen as a sort of anonymous gift that anybody can send and receive, potentially leaving close friends and relatives offended that by sending a hamper you have not considered their personalities and what they would like carefully.

However, this is not the case. The range of hampers available means that you can choose one to suit their tastes; for example a chocolate hamper for a chocoholic or a wine and cheese hamper for someone who enjoys this. Also, many hampers can be personalised with names and messages, showing that you have thought not only about the contents of the hamper, but also how to say ‘Merry Christmas’.

Luxury Included

When giving Christmas presents, a worry for a lot of people is that they person or people receiving them will look down upon them or think that they are cheap. It is nice to give gifts that you would be happy to receive yourself and adding a bit of luxury to the gift is always welcomed.

Hampers have built their reputation on providing the recipient with the best quality wine and food to ensure that the occasion is special and marked appropriately. As luxury comes as standard with hampers, both in terms of their contents and the baskets that they are contained in, they make an impressive gift for even the most fussy of recipients.

Affordable

Even though hampers are full of luxury items, they are a relatively affordable option as a Christmas gift. This is because you can choose the size and amount of contents; therefore the price is tailored to what you can afford. Also, larger hampers can serve as gifts for more than one person, meaning that the cost of their present is shared.

If you want to go out in the cold this Christmas and get involved in the hustle and bustle of Christmas shopping then by all means, please do so. However, for those of you looking to stay in the warm of our own home and avoid Christmas stress, buy hampers for your friends and family; they will appreciate them and so will you!

Have you ever met anyone who wanted to be booed off the stage? Anyone who didn’t want the audience to love their presentation?

I didn’t think so.

The problem isn’t usually that people don’t want to have the audience love them. It’s that they frequently don’t know how to achieve that lofty goal.

In this article, I’m going to give you a six-part blueprint for making presentations the audience will love.

1. Know who your audience is before you do anything else. Every audience is different. But like any good niche marketer you need to be precise in who you target your presentations to. You need to have a good idea of a representative audience member. The more you know about this virtual person, the more likely you’ll deliver what the audience in general wants to hear about.

2. Determine what motivates your audience. People are motivated by three principle emotion or situations. A current problem. Fear of a particular result. Or the desire for a particular result. With any other media, you need use these motivators to encourage your audience to purchase your product and then listen, watch or read your product. The same thing applies with your speech. These motivators must appear throughout your offering in order to be successful.

3. Provide your audience with a real answer. Once you know your audience’s motivators, you need to provide them with resolution. That means you need to provide them with a solution, a plan to avoid or a plan to achieve. This is how you will capture and hold your audience’s attention.

4. Design your presentation for your audience. Your audience needs more than just the solution. They may need the solution presented in a particular manner. They may need a certain depth of information or just a very light treatment. They may need you to focus on particular elements of the solution. Their needs must be included in your organization of your speech.

5. Deliver the answer with passion. Have you ever sat through a presentation where the speaker droned on? Boring wasn’t it. When you deliver your answer to the audience you need to do it with passion. After all, this answer is important to you isn’t it? It matters doesn’t it? Then put that passion, that importance into your voice.

6. Deliver the presentation with confidence. It seems foolish but the truth is the more confident you are in your presentation the more your audience will believe that you are an expert in that area. Confidence is one of the characteristics that people use to judge your ability. After all, if the speaker is confident they must have a reason for that confidence. True?

There I am, working on my new years resolution, my health, working out to the Hip Hop Abs DVD, and I found myself frustrated. I just can’t keep up even on the basic level. The routine seems so simple. Why do I keep making mistakes? Well duh, it is new to me! My body is just not conditioned to do these simple moves in these simple ways in a certain order. All of the people on the DVD have been doing this for years. I was glad I was in the privacy of my own home.

While working out, a book that one of my coaching clients recommended to me jumped into my head. One of the CEO’s I coach told me about a book that backed up my presentation philosophy of “stage time, stage time, stage time.” The book is “This is Your Brain on Music, The Science of a Human Obsession” by Daniel J. Levitin.

Can anyone really master presentation skills? There is that one percent who are truly “naturals” at speaking and they don’t have to work at it. For the record, I’m jealous of them too! Seriously, can anyone really become a true expert at America’s number one fear?

Yes. I have no doubt at all. If anyone can, why don’t more people master the skill, and why is there such a shortage of great presenters? Easy. People are afraid of stage time and don’t face their fear, so the fear keeps them at a low level of skill.

In the book, Levitin refers to study after study of ice skaters, basketball players, criminal master minds and writers. The commonality he talks about is simple: 10,000 hours of practice. That’s it. About twenty hours per week for ten years. If you think about my experience, I spent six or seven nights a week at comedy clubs at the same time speaking during the day anywhere I could, including Toastmasters. Fellow World Champions, David Brooks, Ed Tate, and Craig Valentine in their early days of speaking, all spent a great deal of time working for public seminar companies.

Different experiences, different styles, yet all with a similar result.

Levitin also says that this does not account for why some people pick up faster than others, or why some people take longer to become great at a skill, but if you persist through the hours, anyone can. It doesn’t matter.

He says the ten thousand hour theory is consistent with what we know about how the brain works. He said, “The more experiences we have with something, the stronger the memory/learning trace for that experience becomes.” He believes that the more practice we have, the more “neural traces” we create which, when combined, can create stronger memory. So, this strength in memory comes from how many times we experience the original stimulus.

That’s why I can’t stay up with Hip Hop Abs. I don’t have the right “neural traces” yet. The more emotion associated with the memory, the greater it’s importance in the brain. Levitin encourages his students to choose music they like, so they are more willing to practice. The more hours along with the more positive memory can equate to learning it faster.

What does this mean to presenters? Simple. To master the skill, anyone willing to put in ten thousand hours, can. The quicker you can put more hours in, while making it more fun, the faster your skills will increase. Instead of looking at it as “Did this presentation go well today?”, take the pressure off and look at it as just part of the process. Make it fun.

Question: A master because of hours, or hours because a master? My take: both. It does not matter. I know many people who are very funny “off stage” could have learned it faster than I did. However, I did what they wouldn’t. You can only pursue your goal from where you are at today.

There I am, working out in front of my TV. I keep reminding myself, that I will make mistakes, I will lose my place, it is just a part of the process. I will feel like I take a step forward and two steps back. It is normal. It is the same for presentation skills. It took me nine years before I won the World Championship of Public Speaking. It was not just the nine years, though. It was my attitude towards getting “stage time” along with the enjoyment of it. I logged a lot of hours in those nine years!

The bottom line is, a month from now, it will be easier to get through more of the routine with fewer mistakes if I put in an hour a day. If I only do it a few times per month I will not build up enough “neural traces” to notice the progress. It is when we notice progress that we become motivated and energized, which gets us through more hours of getting us closer to ten thousand.

Ten thousand hours! How long ’til your next breakthrough? Sometimes it’s a few hours, sometimes it’s a lot of hours. It will come, I promise.

There is only one challenge.

How do you motivate yourself to put in more hours in less time and with more fun?