Transitions tend to be a time when we are very emotional. Part of the problem, then, is that we’re not staying present if we’re stuck in our emotional roller coaster. I hesitate to use the phrase “staying present” because it is so overused and people tend to glaze over when they hear that. But, it is so important.
In this moment you are creating your future. If you are not present, you are either stuck in the past or are worried about the future. If you’re doing either one or both of these things, then you are not in the present moment. Where are you creating positive change for next? You’re not. You’re creating more of the same.
Have you ever heard the phrase that worrying is like praying for what you don’t want? It’s true!
Staying present not only makes life more enjoyable, but when you are worrying about the future, you are making an “assumption”. You have no idea what the future is going to bring. While it may be understandable, we still we spend a lot of time worrying about it.
Use this exercise to see where you are spending your mental and emotional time. Ask yourself, “who am I inviting to my T.E.A. party?” Meaning, we walk around all the time with these experts in our head – and these experts are us! We tell ourselves the same thing over and over again, and we think it is the truth, because we “hear” it constantly.
The T.E.A. acronym stands for:
your Thoughts create your Emotions which dictate your Actions.
The most famous example of this is the fight or flight response. If you were an animal and threatened, your body would start kicking out a bunch of hormones like adrenaline and cortisol so that you could run quickly and preserve yourself. Obviously, this serves a purpose. But, when you are in a constant state of fear or anxiety, you forget that this natural response was meant for preserving your life, and ideally, not how you should be living constantly. You have to remind yourself that you are not, in fact, threatened. It is not a live or die experience, but you act like it is.
We will act based on how we are feeling. So start paying attention to your thoughts and check in with how real the assumption you are making really is.
One last thing to remember. You can also run into the inner critic, another “expert” who lives in your head and tells you why you are not good enough or not entitled to have the life you desire. This gal is a liar… so make sure you keep on top of her! and don’t trust a word she says.